| Don't know why I'm posting here. I guess cause no one will ever see it. It's weird being the only one to follow out a plan no matter what the cost is. I strayed from mine a few times, and now it'll be harder than ever to go back to it. But I will. Sorry to someone out there who will also never see this. I always try to keep my promises, but I'm gonna hafta break the last one I made to you. I don't quite understand how I ended up back here again. It's like the past 5 years never happened. I feel numb towards all of it. I don't know how things are going to play out from this point. I intend to stick to the plan I made back then. What I intend to do and what actually happens aren't always the same thing though. But I'm going to have to try. I gave it some time to see if maybe I was wrong, but in all that time, it's proved to me that what I plan on now is the right move. In a way, I guess I've been trying to hold on to a life that never really was. It's time to completely abandon that life. The attempts I've made over the past five years have only proven that what I had in mind before that would've been the best move I could've possibly made. Guess I really was weak and soft. But that's all over now. No more making plans that involve the old ideas of the weak and pathetic kid I've been. It's time to take things on the way I was always supposed to. The one thing that I might be able to really pull off perfect. A perfect warrior lives by his strength alone. Emotions are just thoughts that need to be ignored for someone like that to survive. Other people are just weaknesses. I can't afford to have any more of those. So for anyone who reads this, say nothing to anyone and if you havn't already, forget I existed. That'll make things easier for everyone. Never mention me. Never think of me. And most importantly, never try to find me. I am moving back to my old plan. If you try to find me in that, you're going to just be wasting your time. Goodbye |
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| wow... people actually read this thing. right now im putting off finishing my room. maybe i should do stuff to this thing more often. anyway... doing a full cleaning of my room. hasnt been cleaned like this since i got my desk. that was bout 6-7 years ago. might explain why i found all this old stuff that i forgot bout. some of it i wish i didnt find cause now its making me think bout stuff again. weird how much can change. didnt even know most of the people who might happen to read this. weird finding stuff and looking back on how things were. i feel old now. maybe its just that i am sorta oldish. everything has changed since back then. very few things are still the same. very few people are left. most of the stuff i did then i dont anymore. do alot more now. whole new group of people. though i dont see many now. even over the pas 6 months my plans changed again. learned alot over the years. not just book stuff. experienced alot more too. ran into someone the other day at school who i hadnt seen in bout a year or 2. first thing she said was "what happened to you? youve completely changed from what i remember. almost like youve grown up by about 5 years." its weird. anyways... thats all. till next time |
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| Wasn't gonna do anything with this thing anymore but im really bored and myspace surveys can only kill time for so long. Umm... dunno what there is to update bout. alots actually happened since my last update. but its also not alot. new classes. possibly end of school. boring job. not much of a life. not many people can ever hang out. still doing poker. still play guitar. still game. cisco class is cool. been running into some people i never thought id see again. no ones gonna read this. dunno why im wasting time. maybe i should leave work. been thinking alot recently which usually turns out to be a bad sign. shikaracon was fun. im just saying whatever random things i remember now. i should stop. but i will leave you with a question for those of you bored enough to read this... if you give up showering and sleep for something does that count as an addiction? |
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| Gues i should update this hing for the whole 0 people who actually read it. Not too much special stuff has been happening. Back at Einstein full time. Got new cell. Same number of ourse. Went to Chicago. Opened the trailer. Opening the pool. Ben hanging out alot with josh and jim and stacey. Currentl on meds cause im sick. Thats all |
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| quick update on the past few months. im not at the machine shop any more. now at einstein (in fact im leaving for there very shortly). umm... jim cut his finger off but they put it back on and it looks like hes gonna be ok. schools almost over. japanese class was awesome. umm... been hanging out with some newish people. think you guys would know all but 1 of them cause its all calvary people kinda except stacey though now shes gonna become one too. got into a car accident but its pretty much fixed now. umm... cards every weekend of course. uhh... yea... think that about sums up the past 2 months. going to chicago next month. trailers getting opened up again soon. and thats about all. till next time |
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